Like, Young People Speech

 

            Like many people older than 35, I am annoyed by the frequent use of “like” in sentences, or more correctly, in speech, by young people. “Like” is a useful word in making comparisons, such as “Orange is like red, only yellower,” or “Dick Cheney’s speech patterns are like Burgess Meredith’s playing the Penguin.” “Like” is also useful in conveying a positive preference, such as “I like Parks and Rec,” or “Mark likes Judy, na na na nah na!”

            “Like” in youth speak, however, is another story. Often a place-holder, but more often an expression of inexactness and a vocabulary that is limited, “like” is like fingernails on a chalkboard to the verbally adept, a poorly tuned violin to the concise. We have all heard it: “I was, like, “No I’m not,” and he was like, “Yes, you are, like, totally,” and I’m, like, “You are, like, so mean, and, like, not really a vegan!” Or maybe, “I had, like 6 beers, and, like 4 shots, and then I threw up like 3 times.” I am annoyed even typing this.

            So, what is the answer? Can the genie be put back in the bottle? I think I have a way, though it is not an easy one. It has the advantage, however, of being possible. What I propose is a widespread campaign to unlike like, to encourage young people to embrace their inexactness, their lack of concision and verbal adroitness and allow us to assume they don’t really know what they are talking about. Stop saying “like” and we will still get what you mean. For example, “Carlie was, like, crying, it hurt so bad, but then she, like, still got up and, like, finished,” becomes “Carlie was crying, it hurt so bad, but then she still got up and finished.” Maybe Carlie wasn’t really crying, and maybe she didn’t quite finish, but we understand without the “likes.” Young people, take me up on this. Speak without “likes.” We don’t care if you are exactly accurate or come up with the best words. No one is listening to you, anyway. You’re like, totally boring because you say “like” too much.

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