About : Social Media is awash with videos and posts about Madeira: the hiking, the views, the food, the fun activities, so I’ve wanted to go for a few years, and Greg and Kathy Wright committed early for this, last fall. I loved Lisbon and Portugal and thought it would be a less developed and tropical version of that city and area. It was way more than that and a great vacation in every way. It is a lovely and fascinating place, and nothing impressed me more than its INFRASTRUCTURE!
Madeira: Madeira is a group of small islands (an archipelago), though there is one main one, off the coast of Portugal close to the African continent. Unlike many places, it was actually discovered as an uninhabited, heavily forested, island in 1419, with humans moving there as early as 1420 (there are scattered reports of islands like them in prior accounts of sailors who only visited or sailed by). It is a particularly interesting area geographically, with plentiful fresh water flowing out of springs all over, volcanic rocks and coastlines, and multiple small ecosystems. It is quite mountainous, with the highest points just over 1800 meters. It has been part of Portugal since its discovery, and it was granted autonomy on July 1, 1976. The largest city, Funchal, serves as the seat of government. Since it became part of the EU, public works projects have been done at the highest standards. It is able to integrate a lot of hydropower from the rivers and streams into its energy grid along with wind and solar power. The mountains have a widespread system of water-carrying channels called “levadas” that transport water from the higher elevations to the gardens and farms on the hills, and they are occasionally used for hydropower. Some of the popular hikes follow the levadas into the mountains and through 160 pedestrian tunnels. The roads utilize 180+ tunnels as well. The people were even more fantastic than the infrastructure! They were funny, welcoming, and clearly loved living there and sharing their island with us.
GETTING THERE: The flights were very expensive! The cheapest by far were from TAP, the official Portuguese airline, but with a checked bag it was almost $1500 round trip. I flew out of Newark/EWR, switched planes in Lisbon (7-8 hour flight) and then had just under 2 hours to fly to Madeira. As the time for travel approached, I started sweating international headlines about the horrors of Newark’s airport: radar outages, long waits for bags, and hundreds of cancelled flights. I was waiting for the shoe to drop, and it finally did the day before with the flights over cancelled just before lunch. I am glad I missed the first notification, because by the afternoon, they had rebooked me on a very late flight the same day (Friday) with a longer layover on Saturday in Lisbon before I would arrive nearly 7 hours later than the original flight plan. I checked with my rental car and the website said it would be open until 9pm and the reservation would be kept.
I worked in the morning, ate lunch and went to the gym for a full workout. I rested a bit at home with my legs up, finished packing and left around 6pm. The trip was uneventful except for a few hard rain showers near the parking lot. We had to wait through a downpour for the shuttle, but then we were on our way. There was no remote check in, so I went through the line and decided at the last minute to check my bag, which was small enough to carry on. The only other snag was my backpack was selected for a search at TSA (I have Precheck/Global Entry), where I had to wait about 12 minutes for him to look at one thing for 3 seconds. The flight was not too bad except for being warm. I rarely spoke to the guy on the aisle, but I did get up once. When we were getting close, I finally talked to him and he was a nice young guy, heading to Madrid, who seemed amazed at how much traveling I’d done. I was amazed at how long the line was for passport control when we got off; we had to walk several minutes through the airport to get to the end. I made friends with a woman from Maryland in line, and they saved my spot while I went to the bathroom. It was taking so long I told my seat mate to cut the line to make his connection. It took me 90 minutes to get to the guy who barely looked at me while he stamped my passport automatically after finding a space. I got a sandwich and my first Pastel de Nata at a bistro while waiting nearly 4 hours.
I had a window seat on the flight to Madeira. The Madeira airport is ranked as one of the top ten most dangerous in the world, with its runway built on impressive columns to extend it, but with the approach exposed to high coastal winds. As I finally could see the island, it had a belt of clouds with the peaks darkly sticking out of the top. We flew past peninsulas I had seen so many times on Instagram, then along the coast and past the airport to bank and land from the south. As we turned and headed down, the wind was buffeting us all over, I looked at the woman sitting next to me and raised one eyebrow, looked back and could see as I said it out loud, the landing would be “PERFECT!”
I got my bag without trouble and then looked for the rental car place. There was a small kiosk in the main building, and I had to wait 20 minutes for the couple in front of me to get their car. When it was my turn, the clock started on the most miserable part of the trip. The rep, a chubby guy with a beard and floppy hair, took my name and began searching, and then made a fuss about how late I was. I told him my flights had been canceled and this was as fast as I could get there, and that i had checked with customer service and they told me not to worry. He quickly countered the customer service was not Europcar’s, but the website (Orbitz), so it was not helpful. He said my reservation had no insurance, and I explained I did indeed have coverage and showed him the deal on my phone, but he said that was not Europcar’s, and it didn’t count. Any claim would have to be paid by me and then reimbursed by the website, and I had a 12500 euro deductible I had to agree to. It went on way longer than this summary. I was flustered, and everything was a canned speech with my name repeated many times (How many times do I need to hear Terence?).I finally stopped him and asked, “What is it you want? Why do you keep saying all of this?” He just kept up with the speech, never explaining if there was an additional package he was trying to sell me, or if there was something else they wanted me to pay, whatever. It was so annoying. It must have been another 20 minutes, even though I had done the online check in and they had all my details. Finally I had the keys but I was steaming.
To get to the cars, he explained I had to go up and across and back down, but it was so fast I couldn’t keep up. I was so sick of him I wanted to get as far away as possible and never hear his voice again (Three days after getting back, he actually called me in the US to demand I do the review of the rental they sent me a link to. I did not). I had to get up to a walkway, then cross the roads and take an elevator down. It took a bit of wandering to find it. There was a line for the elevator, so I walked up and across quickly and got the elevator down 4 floors. It was not obvious, but there were huts in the center of the lot, which was not small. I lugged everything over and was told the car was in a space nearby. I noticed a dent and scratch near a tire and walked around carefully. I got in and made sure to set the mirrors and get the seat comfy. I was in a hurry but knew I had to be careful. Then I tried to set up my phone. It wouldn’t let it work. I could not get any navigation app to load. No music. The phone would not work through the car (a Ford) system. So, I had to use my phone on it’s own. I got the map all ready, but then it wouldn’t make any noise. So, I couldn’t tell where to go without looking at the phone. AUUGH! I had to drive a stick on twisty, strange roads while also holding the phone for directions!! And it kept falling off my lap and I kept touching the screen when I picked it up and messing up the maps! I had to drive past the airport terminal and make a series of quick turns to get out and was suddenly on the main road with cars roaring by. I was barely doing the speed limit and trying to figure out my next move while repeatedly shifting up and down. I got off on what I thought was the correct exit and there were three ways to go, so I stopped and settled myself down. I was on the correct exit and right at the turn, and from there had to get down to near the water. I did, but just slightly off, and then I had to go back up the hill and around, turning too soon down an alley one block before the hotel that had a similar name to the hotel on a sign. I had to back up a hill onto the one way street. The hotel was the next turn, and I turned in, but there was a gate blocking the entrance. I couldn’t get it opened, so I started to back up to look for a place to leave the car to find out what to do, but then as I was sitting in the road waiting for another car in front of me to park, I heard Greg Wright shouting my name. He came up and jumped in, just as the cars started to move, and there was now someone right behind me, so I couldn’t back up. He had my phone and was looking at the map, and we went back out to the main street to try to work our way back. I had to get turned around, and there was now a bus sitting in front of me blocking the lane. I had zero patience left, so I tried to do a quick u-turn, and when I decided, there was no one coming, but then there suddenly was, so I turned quick and pulled forward and hit the curb pretty hard with the right front tire. But we got away and made all the right turns and Greg showed me what to push on the gate to let us in. There were plenty of parking spaces so we were able to park, and I could finally take a deep breath. Except it looked like I had damaged the wheel, with a scratch. Except there were lots of scratches. Enter a weeklong stressor….
Hotel Quinta de Penha De Franca: This was our home for the week. From reception, we went to the right down a hall and with a few turns to a courtyard. To the right, a restaurant, to the left a sidewalk that took us to our rooms, in a villa-styled building. My room was nice - big queen bed, small desk, a chair and table, and a bathroom. I had a view of the ocean. Greg and Kathy were in the same small area, with a view of the hotel. The grounds were nice, with tall, thick trees, lots of flowers, and a pool just down the steps. I was tired and hungry, so we went to the hotel restaurant. They had some vegetarian food on the menu and a funny waitress, which was all we needed. I went back and unpacked and made it into bed after 11pm.
The hotel made all our reservations for tours: Monday to the West, Tuesday hiking on the PR1, Wednesday the east coast and mountains, and Friday, Nunn’s Valley and Whale watching (We had to pay cash). They had a great breakfast buffet with granola and flakes, fruit, soy milk, and lots of baked goods. I ate a huge breakfast every day. It was also in an area of excellent restaurants. We ate very well.
FOOD!: I thought every meal was great, even the simple one we got at a food court where I got some veggie tacos, baba ghanoush as well as falafel and tabouleh. I cracked my vegetarian habits and ate a delicious Duck risotto one night and had a grasshopper bowl (yes, with grasshoppers) on Thursday, trying to get as much local cuisine as I could. Joy was a great restaurant up the hill with a nice atmosphere. I had tempura asparagus, cauliflower steak, and saffron pear stuffed with lemon and pistachio ice cream for dessert!! On Friday, our last night, I had the traditional fish dish with a banana. Most of the nights we went out for gelato after dinner. There is a traditional soda called a Brisa, which was carbonated passion fruit juice, and I drank many of those. The Poncha is a famous cocktail of Rum, honey, and passion fruit juice (see funny stories). Kathy and Greg had some Madeira wine at a meal and liked it, though it is apparently sweet. On Friday, in place called Nunn’s Valley, they grew chestnuts, so I got roasted chestnuts (A LOT!) and a delicious piece of chestnut cheesecake. I bought some chocolate from Madeira to take home - it is also very good. They know their sweets!
RUNNING: I was in good shape, so I ran every day, but never much more than 4.5 miles.. The waterfront was down a steep hill, and the walkway only about 1.3 miles or so, so I was out and beyond, into the neighborhoods and streets of the downtown, past the fake lighthouse and a little outdoor gym I went to M,W, and Friday for pullups, dips, and on the last day, some pushups. I would go the other way, staying up on the hill and going west, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. It was nice and uncrowded early in the mornings, and the temps were good. The last day I did a hill workout on the steep hill from the hotel down.
May 25 Activities: We walked down through the hotel to the waterfront, and they were having races of antique cars and sports cars. There were little obstacles on the road for them to turn through. It was fun to watch. As we walked down, we got to where they were having a car show, and the starting line for the races was there. We watched for a little while.
The starting line
From the car show, we walked the short distance to the gondola. There was almost no line. A round trip was pretty expensive: 20 euros, but it looked fun. We rode up with a mother and two adult daughters from France. The views were nice.
I don’t recall us discussing much about what we wanted to do at the top, but there was plenty. We looked at the options: a garden, with another gondola ride, where a lot of people seemed to be going, walking around, and going to the Monte Castle and Gardens. We had hoped to do the street toboggan, but they took Sundays off! The Monte Castle won out, and I was prepared to be disappointed, but it was really nice. It was so pretty, with a modern art museum, a mineral and rock museum, nice walkways, food shops, and lots of lovely, huge trees. The lunch was especially good, and I got some famous baked goods. I got my first Brisa.
They had many educational stops about Portuguese and Madeiran history. We left the garden and climbed a steep road to a nice little church, and then up into the hils to an area near a hotel and back down to the Gondola down. We’d gotten advice from the hotel for a shopping area for the Wrights to get food for the week (our rooms had nice fridges), so we walked into the center of Funchal and found a mall like area with a grocery store. I was amazed to find an exhibit on the torture devices used during the Inquisition there! In a shopping mall! From there we walked about a mile back up a hill to the hotel and relaxed until dinner at 7pm, followed by a gelato stop at the nearest place.
May 26 Activities: The West Coast tour: Our first tour arrived on time in a small bus. He wanted tickets. We had none. A search of the desk finally revealed them in the mailbox for our rooms. After that, it was a smooth day. The guy could really drive, and he spoke two languages for the tour. Again, the takeaway: Infrastructure!!!! I cannot emphasize enough how impressive the roads, bridges and tunnels were. I have been to many islands, and the best of them have rudimentary and twisty roads plagued by potholes. Not Madeira. We drove west to the highest cliffs in Europe (calling Madeira part of Europe is a stretch, but I guess Hawaii is part of North America??). The views were great. We paid 3 euros to go to a viewing area with a sort of glass floor, but it was so thick you could barely see through it. I have been much more scared in various sky towers. Over the top of the mountains there was a large flat area, the only large flat plain on the island, and we weaved our way around that and down to the Northwest side. We had lunch and a wander around Porto Moniz, which would be a worthy spot for a night or two, as the oceanside pools are beautiful, there are several restaurants and an aquarium. We had a few more viewpoints over Seixal and Sao Vicente (see: funny stories). When we returned, our first drop off also had one of the older passengers run off the bus to vomit in the street. We waited a while for him to get himself together for the rest of the drop offs. We think he drank too many Ponchas. Commence Funny Story: Greg decided to stay in the van in Sao Vicente, so Kathy and I walked around. We finished at a cafe, and others from the group were there drinking. We went in, and Kathy asked for a Poncha without RUM for me, and the guy, very amusingly , said, “That is not a poncha!” But he made me a drink with honey and passionfruit juice that was quite nice, and we sipped it there until it was time to leave. Kathy forgot her hat inside.
After we got back, Kathy and I got our swimsuits on and went to the lower hotel pool to get towels and check it out. It is a lovely spot, right along the sea, and a nice, clear pool with salt water in it. The pool man showed us that we could swim in the ocean, and while walking to the spot, we saw lots of crabs on the rocks. I went right out and got in. The water was not warm, and it was a little rough, but I swam out to the dock of the neighboring hotel and back. My goggles had been broken, and I thought I’d fixed them, but I had not. Still, I did a shower at the pool and then swam a few laps in it before we left to get ready for dinner. I went for swims at this pool, the ocean and the smaller pool at our hotel, most of the days from then on.
Tuesday, May 27th: On our way back from breakfast, Greg came running up to Kathy and me and said the tour was already there and we needed a ticket. I rushed back, went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth quick and hurried over. I had not seen a ticket for this tour and assumed there was some other way they knew we where coming, but buried in all the stuff we were given was a ticket for the three of us. We delayed them about 12 minutes overall, so not too bad for them coming so early. It took another hour for us to get on the road, as we waited at one place nearly 30 minutes while the guide walked around looking for one person he never found. We drove out the east side, which was very pretty, but we did not stop until a convenience store in Santana which had bathrooms and a snack store. We took way too long there, but we then drove up to the hiking start, a pull off on the road. We walked up the road for a bit and then entered a trail. The trail was a narrow, single track, rocky and muddy decently uphill. The group was fairly large, and it was soon apparent several of the participants were overmatched. They moved very slowly, and, in the first half mile, we stopped three times for everyone to catch up. One couple walked up gasping about ten minutes after we’d been waiting, with the woman saying she’d done a very hard trail at Glacier park 5 years ago, but at her own pace and wanted us all to go at her pace. I had enough of it and went ahead to the parking lot, where our van now was, and where the guide would give our passes to the trail ranger for the last and best part of the hike. On the way to this point, we went up through the clouds and came up above them to see the mountains sticking out, including some of where we were headed that day and the next.
From the parking lot, the guide left 5 people behind, and we headed up. The path was a steady uphill with lots of the same views, and views on the other side into a deep valley covered in clouds/fog. There were places where you could stop and rest, and at one of them at least one man was smoking. I kept going and we got to a house/way station with toilets and a small restaurant. We could have rested there, but we went on up to the top, which was a narrow path with people going up and down we passed. We got to the top, and it was all worth it: absolutely spectacular, with the clouds putting a nice touch on the views. I wandered all over, and then we sat and ate our snacks before heading back down.
When we got back to the hut, everything was closed for a lunch break, so I peed in the bushes in a spot where many people had done #2, and then we walked down. I got ahead of Greg and Kathy (I am usually slow going down, but it was an easy trip). There was a restaurant at the other end of the parking lot, and I got a table and ordered a Kombucha and banana cake (ok), and the Wrights found me. Kathy ordered a sangria, and then I paid quickly so we could leave before the van left. HA!
We got to the van and waited. Eventually we found out the guide had to go up the mountain again to get one of the hikers in our group who was still up there. It is time for a digression: In our group was an elderly couple from the UK. Greg, as usual, struck up a conversation with the man at one of the stops initially. He was 80 years old and had the airs of a world-weary traveler. Tall and thin, a bit grizzled, he was very chatty. His wife was very quiet. At the second of our initial stops, she expressed to the guide she was not feeling well. I think the guide and her husband coaxed her up to the parking lot, which was not far, but the grade was all uphill. We left them behind when we began the ascent to the top. Unbeknown to us, at some point, he left her behind in the van and went up by himself. We waited another 20 minutes for him to return past the departure time. As we left, he began talking to his wife - he did not sit next to her, but sat on the side of van with single seats, with all their gear taking up the middle seat and her leaning against the window. After their chat, he went to the front of the van and discussed with the driver and guide she was ill, and they wanted to stop to seek care if possible. One of the other passengers came and sat next to her and chatted for a while. They determined we would stop again in Santana, where they had a health center. Once we got there, which took a while, the man asked if they couldn’t just bring a doctor out to the van to examine her and see if it was ok for her to ride back in the van to the hospital (!). They told him, of course not, she was going to have to get out and go in to get checked there. They brought out a wheelchair and got her out with a struggle and took her inside. We never heard what happened. I did not get involved, nor did I want to. They rubbed me the wrong way from the get go, and they were classic tourists who did not do their homework to see what they were in for. The guy was so audacious in going on to the top. They should have had the driver take them down while we were hiking, but he wanted to keep going. even though she was sick. I think they made our trip take at least 50 minutes longer.
This somewhat challenging but short hike could reaily have been done in a few hours, but it took 8.5 hours total. It was a beautiful hike, and a nice day, but some sadness as well (and the second day someone in that seat of the van got sick). Fortunately, the restaurant that night was fantastic, and we had a nice walk in the area after.
May 28th, Wednesday: Today was another tour. Our guide this day was Fernando, and he only needed to speak English. We went out the same way we did Tuesday, the way to Santana, but this time stopped at all the scenic overlooks, including views of the airport as planes took off and landed. The spots were also nice with flowers and cacti. Then we got to the peninsulas we could see flying in - beautiful, but very windy there. There was an Englishman on the tour who talked nearly the whole time. The Wrights invited him to join us for lunch, and he ordered a huge meal and took the whole 90 minues we had to eat and sight-see to eat it since he was talking so much, so we didn’t get to see much of the town, only the area right by the restaurant, which included the classic A Frame houses traditional to the area. We headed up to the mountains then, with a stop at a place with fish farms and a nice souvenir shop, where I got a hat and a magnet for a co-worker. There was a running trail from there to many different parts I was intrigued by. Decently long, but could jog/hike it in the future. From there we went to the top of the second highest peak, which we could see the day before, and it was as beautiful as Tuesday’s. There was a big area you could walk around, and then also a stairway to the very top with a viewing area, all next to a building you could drive up to with shops and WCs (usually you had to pay a euro or three to use them).
Next was one of the absolute highlights for me traveling anywhere. As we were heading back, we were talking about how we could get to the famous Street toboggan in Funchal, debating where to get dropped off, etc, and then Greg said, as we started down a hill into town, it was right there, so we called to the driver and he dropped us off within 100yds of the place you paid. We toured the main church there quickly, where a former Portuguese leader who was exiled, then came back and died, is entombed as a saint, and then went down the hill to the booth. It is 17.5euros per person, so I treated, and then we walked back to the end of the line. We were VERY LUCKY, as soon after they shut it down behind us since the line would last until the end of the day. We stood in the line a while and it would only move occasionally. We figured out there are only so many toboggans and drivers, so they shuttle the drivers up by a bus and then toboggans in a big truck, and there is a delay from the time the last toboggan leaves until they get them up and unloaded again. The drivers would jog by us on their way and everyone would cheer. We finally got to our turn. The largest toboggan holds three, so we waited for a 3 seater to be ready, then got in. I put my bag under the seat and we were off! The first hill was pretty steep, but we had to stop at the bottom due to cars. After that it was mostly a closed course that was wide enough for one car to go down. The street was shiny and smooth, and the drivers fun. They wear the same shoes - a tan leather upper with car tire rubber sewn to them. They use the friction of their soles to control the speed and angles. At one point it leveled off and they pulled us. then we had a nice long stretch of steady and brisk downhills you will see in the video. It was a riot. We got off and Greg tipped them. We got all our stuff and then a man came over with the professional photos that had been taken, trying to sell them for 10euros, but Greg didn’t seem to understand and paid him ten and then tipped him another 20! But it was fine, and I am sure he could use the money. We got a car through the local app (Bolt?) and made it back in plenty of time for dinner.
Thursday, May 29th: This was my day to drive. I tried again to get my phone to work, at least for navigation, and it would not. There was an easy, straight road across to the north side I wanted to take to the black sand beach in Seixal, but with Kathy navigating, holding two phones, we missed the easy turn and went the same way across to the northwest we’d done Monday, which took us through alleys and up steep hills. We should have stopped at Fanal Forest on the way, but I was stubborn and wanted to do it on the way back, and it took about an extra 45 minutes to get to Seixal (45 minutes of never a dull moment). The beach was off narrow roads and we were lucky to find a parking spot (the guy in front of us got a ticket as we got back for parking too far from the curb in an illegal spot). It was a short walk down the hill to the beach entrance. It was not crowded, and the waves were ok. Some people were trying to surf. The far side was where the toilets were (hard to find) and a restaurant. Widely regarded as one of the most beautiful beaches in the world, it was if you only looked to the right side.
We kept missing the turn to the road back up to Fanal, but then we started the twisty climb up. It went faster than I remembered and we were soon in the parking lot, which we took the risk of going into despite cars all along the road. There were spaces, and we parked on the far side, where I could pee in the bushes (and where many others had done #2). Fanal is an iconic place in Madeira. It is often shrouded in fog, giving it a magical appearance, but it was a beautiful, sunny day. There are more open spaces than forests, cows grazing in the fields, and the classic weirdly branched trees. We got our bearings and tried to hike a trail, but it quickly went away and we strolled around on the grass and other scattered paths to the far edges of the hills. It was certainly pleasant, but I was underwhelmed. Kathy and Greg loved it, especially Kathy, who has an affinity for cows. She even found a calf to pet. We got in a good walk and saw a lot of it.
We started back to Funchal, but I saw a PR trail sign on the right side and some parking spots, so we pulled in there to do a little extra hiking. The trail was a bit rough, with very high stairs, and it steadily went down. I went about a mile and a quarter or so and turned around partway down a very steep and rough set of stairs. It was a nice hike, but not scenic, and it went back to Fanal down a valley and back up a hill. I found Greg and Kathy sitting under some trees not far from the parking lot and we got back on the road
My driving challenges were just beginning. I have driven a stick since I started at 16, and I have done it all over the world, driving on both sides of the road, with a particular brilliance, a combination of fuel efficiency, control, and speed. Even in a strange car with difficult navigation I got us all around, up and down, hairpin turns on steeps, overtaking slow cars, weaving in alleys and narrow connectors. But as we headed down the hills on the south side, we planned to see a festival in Ponto del Sol. Apparently the rest of Madeira had the same plans as it was jammed, with several key roads closed. We were frequently sitting still while the cars coming the other day had to back up to let us by, since so many cars were parked on the side of the roads (It is apparently ok to stop your car in the right lane and leave it there almost anywhere). We finally found a way out - poor Kathy was as frazzled as I was. The hotel parking lot was full for the upcoming weekend, and I remembered a guy parking in a spot where there were boat trailers. I backed the car in there. I checked with the hotel and they let us keep it there. So many people parked in the lot illegally that night and Friday, I was slack-jawed, but I went out on Friday morning and moved it to a better spot as soon as someone left.
Greg had scheduled a massage somewhere not that close by, so Kathy and I planned to go to the hotel next door for dinner, as they had an unusual menu. The first challenge was finding it. It was by their pool, which was near our hotel pool - just on the other side of the fence, but we were in various elevators and halls before we found the ramp over the street, and someone helped us with the elevator down. It was very nice with great service once we got there, and the food was excellent - this was where I got the grasshopper bowl. When we left, we went to the elevator and it was lit. So, we waited and waited for it to move, but it stayed on the 3rd floor. Another guy came and waited with us, and then he finally hit the button and it came right down!! (This was too short for the funny stories:-). This, however, is a full length funny story! Greg had a wild time with his massage, and it goes a little something like this: Greg traveled to the massage place’s address from their website, and there was nothing there - no massage place! He called them and they told him they had moved !!! They gave him the new address, and he rushed there, but it was a generic building with no sign and he couldn’t find where to go. He called them and someone finally came out to the street to take him inside. They stayed late with him, and then when he was done, he walked out of the office into the hallway, and there were no exit signs. He could not find his way out, now! He wandered around and tried to find the door back to the office, but there was no one around. He tried a stairway and came out into a garage, but it was locked and he was not able to get out of there. He was close to a panic and started knocking on doors and wandering around. Finally, a door opened and a confused man greeted him. Greg explained the situation and the guy was nice enough to go down with him to a special entrance/exit and let him out. He did not get back until almost dark. Moral - no massages in Funchal!
Friday, May 30th: We had two activities, a morning tour to Nunn’s Valley, and an afternoon cruise for whale watching on a catamaran. We again had to rush after breakfast as the driver came early. He was Eduardo, and he had to speak two languages again. He was very lively, but for some reason he would never answer anyone’s questions directly, and he made the same jokes over and over (“Who wants to drive?”). We started with a nice viewpoint in the hills above Funchal, then followed a twisty road back into Nunn’s Valley, so called because a convent kept a place to stay out there they would flee to when pirates came to raid the city. It was spectacular, a deep canyon with nearly vertical walls where we were up high, and a lovely village winding along the streams and gorges. The area specialized in growing fruits like cherries (we missed that season) and chestnuts (prime for that one!). They had a tasting of some liqueurs there I avoided, but I bought some chocolate and a honey cake for the office, and then got roasted chestnuts (delish) and chestnut cheesecake at a bistro there. Sooo good. Then we headed back to the hotel.
I had checked at the desk about the whale watching, and we had to walk to the waterfront to catch the boat, so we did not have a lot of time. We got a quick lunch at the hotel restaurant, then walked down. We had to wait a bit, but we got a good spot at the front of the boat, and it was a smooth ride. We found two different pods of dolphins and watched them, then cruised over close to the cliffs (where some flying fish went past us - pretty neat), where I was the first one in to swim. The water was not warm, but it was a pretty spot and fun to do. We spent the last night in the city, eating at a nearby traditional restaurant outside and then downtown, through the park I ran in and the center city, where we got some gelato and watched a street performance. It was a great last day, very pretty and warmer.
May 31, Saturday, the last day: I was up early and did a good hilll workout on the steepest road near the hotel, After breakfast, we checked out, loaded the car and left for the airport to drop off Kathy and Greg. My flight wasn’t until the afternoon, and theirs left late morning, so I planned a short adventure. It was a pretty easy cruise to the airport, and after our good-byes, I was back to the phone in the hand to find two things: The Canical levada, and a gas station. I wanted to do a quick hike on a levada, since we really had not to this point, and this one was not far from the airport and had good reviews. I got off the exit and made a few small mistakes before finding the road. I got to the site of the levada and parked on the hill in what looked like a good spot. I did not see any signs. There were 4 grizzled local cyclists who looked like they’d just finished a ride there, so I asked them where the levada started, and they pointed across the road. Yes, obviously! But then, I didn’t know what I was looking for, so I walked all around this small building for a trail until I saw the water flowing and noted a sidewalk right beside it. Bingo! It was a very nice, relatively flat, and often dirt, path along the flowing water. I missed another turn as it crossed under the road, but then made a nice, brisk walk, greeting the locals and the other hikers out and back on another lovely day. The views were not great, but not bad, and I covered 4 miles in just over an hour with a few stops for photos and peeing. When I got back to the car, my heart sank as there was a paper under one of the wiper blades, but it was just a flyer from a church (phew, not a ticket!).
I googled nearest gas station and found one near the main road. It was down multiple twisty roads with lots of turns. COMMENCE FUNNY STORY: I have had a lot of silly things happen in my life, some that were very embarrassing, but maybe never anything worse than this! I had to pull around the back, and there were cars in line for petrol. One was blocking the way to an open pump, so I had to wait a while. I did not watch what they were doing. FInally, I could pull in and I opened the fuel tank door. It looked a bit weird, but it was just pumping gas, right? Then I looked at the pump. 4 different fuels, with different rates, one of them diesel, so easy to rule that out. I chose what looked like the cheapest and put the nozzle in and started. Immediately gas squirted out onto the ground and all around!! WTF!! It must be the wrong size! So, I put in a second one, and SAME THING! This time, it was even worse! I looked at the car fuel port and it had some numbers on it, like E10. I looked at the pump again, and there was an E10 line! So stupid! But then it wouldn’t work. All this while cars were waiting behind me, and one gent started over when I figured it out, so I apologized and said I got it. But I had to go inside and pay for .28 euros of gas on the ground to get the pump reset. As I did, I stepped on the gas and almost fell, it was so slippery! I avoided a complete catastrophe there, not getting my clothes I was to fly in soaked with gasoline!. I paid, apologizing again and again, went back out and filled the tank and came back and settled up. In the meantime, one of the employees had put down some dirt to soak up the gas!
I drove back uneventfully to the airport, still reeling from my terrible experience at the gas station. I realized my shoes smelled terrible! I dropped off the car, nervous they were going to accuse me of damage to the wheel, but they walked around, checked the fuel and let me go! AWESOME! I was back to the airport, and checked my bag again, this time worried about Newark baggage claim, but I didn’t want to fuss with two bags in Lisbon (there was plenty of overhead room in both flights!). COMMENCE FUNNY STORY: I wanted to wash my hands and see if I could get some of the gas off my shoes, so I walked up to a bathroom, which had its door propped open. I was at the sink, washing my hands when a woman came out of the stall and muttered something at me. I realized I’d walked into the ladies room when I looked and saw that sign on the propped door! I got out as quickly as I could! I tried to wipe my shoes off in the men’s room and hoped the smell would ease by the time I had to get on the plane (I’d already gotten through security pretty easily). The flight was uneventful, except that it was late taking off, and then we had to circle for a while, taking up a lot of the time I had to get to the connecting flight to the USA. We had to load onto a bus, and I was ready to get off and beat everyone to the passport line, but there were only two lanes open! COMMENCE FUNNY STORY: I was waiting and waiting and the time to start boarding the flight passed. I said something to the guy minding the lines, but he told me to just wait. There was a weird dude in front of me, and when he went to the passport person in my line, he started shouting about how rude everyone was and he wanted to file a complaint against all the guys minding the line, yelling over and over. The woman at the gate there listened and chatted with him, got him calmed down, and then fussed a bit before calling all the guys over to talk. Meanwhile, I was waiting right there. It took maybe another 7 minutes, time I thought I did not have. Finally through the line and into the airport, I found the gate and….flight delayed! Not only that, they never said anything as the departure time passed. I joined a huge line and while we were waiting, the security team came through and verified all our passports and eventually funneled us into the gate area and kept us inside fences. We waited there for an hour, and finally they came out and started to board us without explanation. I got into my seat at the back all alone. They had long stopped boarding, when one man appeared in the aisle and walked all the way back to the seat next to me. He said, “I bet you are not happy to see me! “ I said , “I definitely am not” with a big smile. But he was all right and we had a quiet flight back.
We landed about an hour later than scheduled, and I rushed through to get to passport control and try out my new Global entry. The passport line was 30 minutes long, but it took me only 15 seconds to get through global entry, and my bag came right out at baggage claim. Now I wanted to get home and had to get to the parking. PARKING DRAMA: I was trying to send them a text and somehow got cut off, and then was searching for their number to try to call them and kept calling and couldn’t hear anything. After the 4th try, I noticed the van for that lot pulling away from the curb! I tried to stop it but failed. I did not recognize the color. AUGH! Then I got the guy after realizing I turned off the sound on my phone so it would not ping loudly with messages when I landed and turned it on. Double AUGH! So I had to wait another 25 minutes for the van to come back. When I got there, I went to get my keys, but he said I would have to wait for the keys as the guy was coming. I offered to meet him on the way, but he told me no. He came in and they started yelling at each other and looking through a bunch of keys piled on the counter. My keys, apparently, were missing!! They continued to argue, and then another guy came and they said they thought they left them in another car. I hoped it was at least a car that was here and not one somebody drove off in! I waited quietly while others came and went, and then the two guys got back. No keys. They had another big argument. This time I walked to the counter and looked at the keys. I glanced at them before, but now I really looked, and there they were! I have a name tag on them, but it was gone, and the number tag they attach had also come off. I picked them up and said, “Here are my keys!” They were in disbelief and demanded I give them to them as I was starting to leave. I handed them to the guy and he hit the door unlock, and my car, which I could see all along, lit up. I took them quickly and walked out the door saying, “I will never use you m———rs again!”
I was really tired on the drive back and could not believe how much traffic there was late on a Saturday night (I got home after midnight). Greg and Kathy’s flights were super delayed and they did not get back until the wee hours of the morning. I love traveling, but maybe not the travel part. I hope you enjoyed this, and you will surely enjoy Madeira if you go there for even a short time. There is so much to do, and even more is happening there now.
